Absent





Back then, 
There used to be some
That will work under the sun
Digging all their hands in the mud
Sweating, building and rising
Building for me and my generation

Faces were curious looking down
Standing behind the curtains
behind the windows

Some faces could only been seen,
Become square as they appear,
From their windows

There were some kids carrying books,
Laughing at other kids when passing.

Sweat and mud filled the air.
People like me would just follow
The song as the builders sing.

The songs, voices would continue
And the windows, become absent faces 
Starring at us.





This poem is written for the promp
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ShadiatiQue ©2010-2014
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14 kommentarer:

Brian Miller said...

kinda scary those faces in the window.
i would def much rather be out under the sun
listening to the builders songs....

Mary said...

This poem seems quite chilling to me. The last stanza especially with the voices and windows becoming absent faces....staring. Thanks for taking part in Poetry Jam.

Shadiatique said...

Ýeah spend the time doing anything but watching others, right?

Shadiatique said...

Thank you Mary,

Gabriella said...

Your poem made me think of a dictator, or a dictator's child. Someone who has been set aside from the rest of the population and watch ithers live from afar. Very powerful!

alan1704 said...

There is a power in building or setting ourselves to the task,it almost seems to be the story of two covenants. Lots here and very thought provoking.

Sumana Roy said...

the last three lines have an air of deep sadness about them...

Shadiatique said...

Gabriella, very interesting about the dictator thought. What I wanted to spot on in my poem is those women who always standing looking down at kids playing and builders working. Women who would stare, but at the end they will look like they have no faces, as kids will just continue playing and builders will just work along. And there is how some of use their time, looking and looking.

Shadiatique said...

Alan1704 and Sumana.
Thank you for your comment. My intentions to provoke with sad words.

Thank you all.

Laurie Kolp said...

So vivid... & I really like the role of faces in this poem.

SaraV said...

Great images! Loved that line "windows become absent faces" :-)

gillena cox said...

the window images; very sad indeed and in such contrast to the ones sweating and building futures


much love,,,

Shadiatique said...

Laurie Kolp, SaraV and Gellena Cox
Thanks for your feedback. Much taken to reconsider when writing a new poem.

Mary Ann Potter said...

Those windows --- haunting and well-described.

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