October 21, 2010

Martyr


Fall from our martyr
We have seen how he fell ... From afar
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Fell to the ground martyr, Fell smiling ...
Was Happy, he fell Smiling ...
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Thank God
Received the certificate ... Got happiness
His house got high ... Certificate
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Thank God
Fell closed to us, Carried him on our shoulders
Seen from afar ... Was Happy he fell Smiling ...
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Thank God
In the name of God, he fought ...
And Allahu Akbar... he fell smiling
 -
He remembered the God very much
Fought in his process often
Frequently asked God
Oh God certificate
-
We saw after him awarded
Was Happy
Found what he wanted
Fell to the ground martyr
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Referred him to the Supreme ... For awards
God, we count him with martyrs
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Your slave does it...
Coming to you "Martyr" Stained with blood
Suggestive of verses, and smiling ... Happiness
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 © 2007
Indsendt af kl.
Etiketter: ,

1 comment:

  1. Sad_discoOctober 25, 2010 at 5:17 PM

    Hi, there!

    Saw Your profile on twitter. I'm a published latvian poet (not trying to be arrogant, just the factthat I know a thing or two about poetry). Moments of Happiness is a great poem. Just a few tips. on this and other poems.

    first of all lose the 3-dots. It doesn't help. it doesn't add any seriousness. They're pointless, basically. They're like a huge neon sign - my poem is serious! :) it is. No one needs the thoughtful dots.

    Secondly, try to organize Your verses - There must be a point, why one presses enter to divide a sentence. Poem is a poem not a text, which looks like a poem. Remember there is only one rule - everything must be with a reason.

    Last of all try to spread out on metaphors. I see, that You have a great vocabulary, and You've read a lot and experienced a lot. That is a blessing, I tell You.

    so if any questions write - u.zirnis@gmail.com

    good luck!

    Ulvis, Latvia

    ReplyDelete

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